From My Dear Grandma Alice to My Autistic Son: Celebrating Autism Everyday

In 2016, I sat at my kitchen table reading the diagnosis of Autism given to my non-verbal three-year-old son. People I encountered later would say, “he will not thrive in life and not belong in society.”  My dear Armenian grandmother, Alice – who had come to the United States at 55 years old and bared intense trials and tribulations – had a different opinion. She would say in Armenian, “Christine, always remember your boy is out of the ordinary and simply extraordinary! And he is exactly what our world needs.” After her physical passing on UN International Happiness Day, March 20, 2019, this became my persistent inspiration to continue to empower neurodivergent humans to unlock their superpowers and ignite their creativity in ways our world desperately needs. 

One in eight people are neurodivergent globally, and these millions of people regularly experience exclusion, stereotyping and stigma; face mental health challenges; meet a lack of acceptance and limiting beliefs from society; and experience challenges at home, school, work, and in relationships. We have the power to change how we see neurodivergent humans and how neurodivergent humans see themselves. 

In 2016, I remember traveling back on an airplane from a work trip, missing my kids. Using my phone as a distraction, I was scrolling through emails and all of a sudden, I stopped at one my father had sent me: an article about the scientific study of color. Interested, I started to read the article. I have always admired my parents for their tenacity, strength, and unconditional love as they’ve navigated the challenges of being immigrants to the United States. My father came to the United States as a university student of science and philosophy, so he is always telling me to look to nature for life’s answers. In this article he sent me, the word iridescence jumped out at me. 

What a beautiful word, I thought, gazing out the airplane window into the sea of white clouds. 

The word iridescence comes from the Latin word, iris, meaning rainbow. Iridescence is a lustrous rainbow-like play of color caused by differential refraction of light waves (as from an oil slick, soap bubble, or fish scales) that tends to change as the angle of view changes. Devouring this article, I fell in love with the science behind iridescence and this phenomenon that if you change the angle of how you view something, you can see rainbow-like colors. 

Ever look inside a kaleidoscope as a kid? Do you remember twisting it and seeing all the beautiful colors? We are often captivated when we see something in nature with a multitude of colors, or when the colors seem to change depending on our point of view. Imagine looking at a pearl, the transparent wing of a dragonfly, the metallic colors of butterfly scales, or jeweled hummingbird feathers ­– we are immediately drawn to their iridescence.

I couldn’t help but think about the iridescent wings of a butterfly. 

As small as they are, butterfly wings are covered by thousands of microscopic scales, split into two to three layers -- thus their Greek order name, Lepidoptera, meaning “scaled wings.” 

When light hits the different layers of the butterfly wing, it is reflected numerous times, and the combination of all these reflections causes the very intense colors that you see in many species. Some butterfly displays even extend into the ultraviolet spectrum visible to butterflies but not to humans. 

The combination of a butterfly's structural and pigmented color can create interesting effects. For example, if you saw a butterfly with yellow pigment underneath a structure that creates a blue iridescent color, you might see a green shade, made by the merging of the two colors. Or depending on your viewpoint, you might see blue, yellow, green, or a combination of the three. Your view would change as the butterfly moves its wings and the light enters at different angles.

Whether they serve as camouflage or communication, the brilliant, complex wings of Painted Ladies, Red-spotted Purples, and the thousands of other butterfly species owe their beauty to iridescence and structural color. In many cultures, the butterfly embodies the deep meaning of transformation and metamorphosis which fosters creativity, joy, and endless potential. 

So, what does the iridescence of a butterfly have to do with neurodiversity?  

The short answer is that, together, we need to reframe our societal bias of neurodiversity from cognitive deficiency to unique superpower. When we see the world of neurodiversity through a different angle, as with the iridescence of a butterfly, we can reimagine these variations of the human mind as lending strengths and superpowers to neurodiverse individuals. By doing so, neurodiverse people are empowered to spread their beautiful wings like a butterfly and bring endless creativity, joy and potential to us all. 

I’ll share a short story to further illustrate what I mean. When I found out my son Zac was autistic at the age of three, I knew there was something unique about him. Even though I know he is unique, some people we encounter don’t understand him. They describe him as abnormal, strange or weird. At the first birthday party Zac was invited to, which we were both excited about, Zac started stimming. For those new to the word, stimming refers to self-stimulating behaviors usually involving repetitive movements or sounds. Everybody stims in some way. For Zac, he has memorized every line in almost every Disney movie ever made. When he is anxious or nervous, he repeats lines from Disney movies and flutters his hands uncontrollably. One of the boys at the party started to loudly chant, “Zac’s a weirdo, Zac’s a weirdo!” 

We left the party feeling disheartened. 

When we got home, I saw a beautiful butterfly right by our garden. I quickly said, “Zac! Zac! Do you see that beautiful butterfly? That’s a monarch butterfly!”  

He said, “What’s a monarch butterfly?” 

As I showed him the beauty of the monarch butterfly, I said to him “sometimes in life people might not understand the way your brain thinks. You see the world differently and just like the beautiful iridescent wings here on this monarch butterfly, there is so much wonder and beauty in how you view the world.”  

At the age of four, he looked at me a bit strange, not understanding completely, so I thought to myself how could I describe it to a four-year-old. Then it came to me because he loves watching superhero movies!  

I said to Zac, “You are like a superhero with superpowers because you can see and think about things that no one else can and that’s similar to how some things are only visible to butterflies and not to humans!”  

Zac replied, “Wow really mom? I am a superhero?” 

I said to him, “Oh yes, Zac, you are an out-of-the-ordinary superhero who has out-of-the-ordinary superpowers – exactly what our world needs!”  

My purpose in sharing this story is to inspire neurodiverse individuals ­– whether you have autism, dyslexia, dyscalculia, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), or other intellectual, emotional, and behavioral differences – to challenge the myth of what a normal brain is and discover the unique brilliance in your seeing the world differently as a superpower and not a deficiency. 

In the words of Grandma Alice, “You are out of the ordinary and simply extraordinary, and you are exactly what this world needs” 

Let’s continue celebrating autism everyday!